My Transition Layer

You Don’t Start Over — You Return to Yourself

There is a version of me that lived in America, and then there is a version of me that lived in Germany for almost 4 years.

We moved to Germany for my husbands job as the world was shut down during the COVID pandemic. Everything at that time felt so uncertain – travel restrictions, isolation, and not knowing what daily life would even look like in our new home. The world felt very small.

And then, just 3 months later, everything changed again.

I became very sick. So sick that my body was shutting down and I had to have emergency open heart surgery to save my life. I had a large myxoma tumor in my heart. What followed after the surgery to remove the tumor was a long road to recovery – rehabilitation, physical therapy, and slowly learning how to trust my body again.

There are moments in peoples life that divide everything into before and after.

That was one of mine.

I was in a new country, coming out of a global pandemic, navigating something that felt overwhelming and uncertain – physically, emotionally, and mentally. It forced me to slow down in a way i never had before. It forced me to listen. To my body, to my limits, to what actually mattered.

And in the middle of all that… life kept unfolding.

I didn’t just Recover – I Rebuilt

I learned how to move forward again, step by step. Somehow, in the middle of all that chaos and uncertainty, I built a life there… a life from the ground up. Learning how make doctors appointments and get medicines from pharmacies, to get a drivers license and traverse the roads, how to shop for groceries, work appliances, order food at restaurants, and enjoy hobbies all in a different language. I learned how to navigate a new culture and language – not perfectly, but with confidence that I didn’t know I had. Slowly this new world became home. I found beauty in the everyday – in small villages, in quiet routines, in moments that felt slower and more intentional.

But what I didn’t expect while living there, was how deeply I would find my people. Living away from our families, our comfort zones, and having to do hard things every single day, made the connections feel different.

Stronger.

Real.

There was a strong expat community that showed up for each other in ways that weren’t about convenience, but about understanding and helping each other through. There were also connections made with local people that made me feel apart of a bigger purpose and ingrained in the community.

For four years, I wasn’t just living in Germany.
I was part of something.

And then… we came back.

Back to the U.S.
Back to what I thought would feel familiar and easy.

But it didn’t — not in the way I expected.

The transition was hard. It was quiet.
It showed up in the empty spaces that I didn’t see coming.

My boys were older now — in high school — building lives of their own. They didn’t need me in the same constant way anymore. And for the first time in years, I had time.

Time I didn’t quite know what to do with.

I didn’t have close friends nearby the way I did in Germany. I didn’t have that built-in community. And suddenly, I was left with something I hadn’t had in a long time…

Space.

And in that space, I had to face myself.

Not as a mom.
Not as the one managing everything for everyone else.
Just me.

And if I’m honest, that felt uncomfortable.

I had spent so many years giving — to my family, to our moves, to building a life for everyone else — that I hadn’t stopped to ask myself:

What do I need now?

That question didn’t come with a clear answer, and it came slowly. For a year after we moved back, I was struggling to figure out what I wanted and what would help me find joy.

And somewhere in that process, something shifted. I kept hearing friends say you should write a blog, and share your stories. But honestly, that felt out of my comfort zone. What do I have to say that people want to hear? However, the more I sat with the idea, the more I realized there’s a lot to share. What I went through didn’t break me, I can do hard things…I did it before!

Germany didn’t go away – it reshaped me. That strong version of me still exists.

It’s all part of me.

All the layers.

And so is this season.

From understanding that life isn’t about leaving chapters behind or trying to recreate something you once had. It’s about carrying it with you, letting it shape you, and build something new from it.

Living Layered came from that realization, and this space is where I’m doing that – and building a community!

I don’t have it all figured out, I’m still in it. Still finding my rhythm again. Still becoming this next version of myself.

But I do know this:

I’m not starting over.

I’m building on everything that’s already here.

Layer by layer.

Keep Living Layered,
Michelle